The Gesture

What is a gesture you might think? Is it romantic, or something said, is it a kindness offered or a burden lifted for the person you hope to obtain the affections of? I don't know if a gesture can be defined as one particular thing, other than it is an ACTION. It is a perception, nay a forethought on how you can show that you have an interest in another person's well being. This can go much farther than just towards someone you hope to love. It can and should be part of who you, as a desired gentleman, become.

One boyfriend of mine did something so simple, that it was what really opened my eyes to him as a possibility. Before I even knew his name, I was standing at the place where we both worked, and I was feeling a migraine coming on. I remember rubbing my temples and closing my eyes with the pain. In less than a minute, a hand extended itself with an aspirin and a bottle of water held out for me. That little moment of observation that this person had, and then the wherewithal to bring me said items told me so much about this person.

One, he was watching me. That in itself is flattering. Two, he thought about my needs as a way to nab my attention. Three, he was thorough in his delivery and he didn't linger to wait for a thank you or a moment of chest beating at his cleverness. Women notice the small things, guys. They notice those little conveniences. Like, oh say, putting the toilet seat back down. Spontaneously getting up to do the dishes without having to have been asked. I had a dear friend of mine come over for a dinner, and not only did he bring cake for dessert, he also did the dishes at the end. This left me to enjoy the rest of the evening's banter without being distracted about needing to get the dishes done.

The gesture doesn't have to be the same each time, and we aren't asking that it be everyday, but shock us with some little nuance of notice, and we are putty in your hand. Another great anecdote is when a boyfriend of mine in his last attempt to prove that the last two years had not been a waste, came home with a bag of items that were all about my interests. He was a terribly selfish guy and felt that any interest outside what he deemed important was frivolous. I accepted this part of his personality, but I will admit that I had always been disappointed that he never showed much interest in my life. That day, he tried his hardest to show me that he had been paying attention. It is one of my best memories of our time together. Had he done this a little more often, we might have made it.

The gesture is more than manners, it is more than remembering a date or a movie they loved, its about notice things about the person, daily behaviors or quirks, and showing the person of your affection that you notice.