Giving the Elbow

No menfolk, I am not talking about the latest UFC fight or an elbow to the face. I am talking about the elbow of a woman and a man's usage of it. The highly neglected but one time respected female part that is one of the most useful tools of seduction is the elbow.

When I was a little girl living in Florida, there was a neighbor of ours that lived in a little apartment down the street. She was tall, and had black-dyed hair. She wore makeup, and was about 10 years older than my mother. She was unmarried- which in the early 80's, that made her, well, out of the norm. She had no children to my knowledge and her home was filled with feminine dainties, like flower teapots, lace, and smell goods. Things that were not in my home at the time. Things that as a little girl, intrigued me. I can't remember why I was over there, but at one time I was there by myself with her, perusing her home with wide eyes, and curiosity. She was getting ready to leave for something and was adorning herself with perfumes, makeup, and lotions. I remember her clearly saying to me that lotion was a must, something that every lady never leaves home without putting on. Then I watched her apply another coat of lotion specifically on her elbows. She noticed my furrowed brow, and explained: A lady should never have rough elbows, as no man would want to touch them. I never understood that but I have always been vigorous about my elbow care.

I often wondered why this elbow thing was so important? As I got older and longed for days of more formality between male and female relations as chivalry was stomped to the ground like a Mexican hat dance; I thought about my elbows. Back in more polite society, a man offered a woman help out of a carriage (or car), first offering with his hand and then grabbing her elbow. It was also considered proper to lead a woman who was not of intimate familiarity into a room via her elbow, just a gentle cupping to offer stability. We women tend to wear heels, and from what I have observed, most women still walk awkwardly in heels, so it is important for you flat heeled men to support us when we are climbing stairs or exiting vehicles. Women of the feminist persuasion can be offended that this means we cannot walk right or are helpless, but lets look at it from a safety perspective- or even a financial one. Women don't want to go flying in their expensive shoes and dress, catch a heel wrong and break it, or come crashing down a staircase and end up with broken things. So there is a practicality to the effort. But mostly, it is a wonderful and caring gesture, as well as another one of those tiny little gestures that make most women swoon inside. Men, your ultimate goal: always to get the swoon.