The Concentrated Effort

Whilst romping through Disneyland this past Friday, I was witness to an admirable display of my lofty advice thus far. No, not about the fingers as a seduction tool, but the ushering skill set. Standing in line for Pirates of the Caribbean ride, there was a couple right in front of me. Now normally, standing in line causes all sorts of various behavioral discrepancies from averted looks, to fidgeting, to downright annoyance. However, this very attractive man was oblivious to the world around him. He was completely focused on the person he was with. I watched them, convenient since I was standing behind them, for over 20 minutes ( the length of the wait in line). I was floored by the display of utter confidence this man showed, and the attention that he paid, nay I say DEVOTED, to this woman who clearly was not his calibre of female accompaniment. She was short and overweight, and not terribly attractive either. She did have an energy to her though, and was ripe with conversation. I could not discern if this was his wife (I spied no rings) or mistress, or if this was a first date. They could have been newlyweds, or newly engaged, however, I seriously doubt it was a mistress situation.

First, the man never took his hand from the small of her back. He would gently lead her forward when the line advanced, or would stroke it gently with his fingertips in the interim. Sometimes he would move it to encircle her waist, or high up to shield her from some person on the opposite side of the rope that might connect with her. Very protective in a courteous way. All this, and he never once broke eye contact with her. Not to move forward and definitely NOT when she was speaking. He was always focused on her face. He was taller by a foot so I even wondered if his neck would begin to hurt from the constant downward tilt. He was completely consumed by her in all ways and to achieve that in the midst of a theme park with thousands of little attention grabbing situations, I was completely impressed.

Gentlemen, part of the key of this charming man was that he was completely in the moment with the person he was with. He did not check his cellphone, he did not look at his watch, and he didn't shift from foot to foot, or dart his eyes around with the common inconvenience that most men display. He was completely present and attentive to the person he was with. This lesson can be used in so many areas of life; with your children, with your job, and with your intended lover. The world around you will wait. The spark of connection with another person won't.